Comment to a Question About Birth Control

At the moment, homosexuality is my birth control of choice. But that said, there was a time when I was younger and confused. We used condoms, birth control pills and the rhythm method: all in hopes of being sure that we didn’t get a surprise.

That said, there was still one memorable occasion when I remember running out at 11pm to try to find an open drug store that had pregnancy tests, when she realized that she was late.

Even as someone that loves kids, I was still absolutely terrified. I had a job that was barely keeping me in an apartment, student loans, and many months until I would be done with my college degree. And that’s just the living situation, there was still deep-seated fear of being a parent. To call my family upbringing challenging would be charitable bordering on abject denial. With that parenting example, I was terrified of repeating the behavior I learned.

Getting that pregnancy test and bringing it home left me with way too much time alone with my thoughts and fears.

I brought home several tests, unsure which one was best. While I was gone, she had been throwing back coffee and water so she’d be ready. Once the drying sticks were lined up in the bathroom sink, there was nothing to do but wait.

Too tense to talk to each other, we settled onto the futon to watch TV. I don’t remember what was on. The only thing that comes back to me after all these years was how far we sat apart.

How much of this is accurate is left as an exercise to the reader...